


Gold Digger

by zzariyo



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Falling In Love, M/M, Modern AU, Teba is Revali's cousin, Teba is a bit OOC but get off my ass, cuzzzz uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no thank you?? aha, i honestly Do Not Know How To Tag!!!, there's gonna b sex?? but im not gonna write it out in much detail, won't be updated much because i hate myself
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 16:42:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16814491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzariyo/pseuds/zzariyo
Summary: Revali Van Medoh has been in the game for a while. He doesn't even remember how or why he started doing it, but he's become obsessed with searching and finding wealthy men, getting with them, drowning himself in their money, gifts and attention before he gets bored with them, drops them, and moves on to the next guy.His next target, Link Wilde, is coming back to his hometown to visit after getting his Master's Degree on the East Coast. Expecting Link to be the usual rich dickhead that he's dealt with before, Revali is surprised by how kind and sweet he is, and, as luck would have it, falls in love for the first time.





	Gold Digger

**Author's Note:**

> literally I had this idea two months ago and forgot about it, but my family and I just watched a couple of rom-coms and I??? suddenly remembered this weird AU i came up with (that's,,,, sort of a joke) and was like "HEY! THAT'S...THAT'S A ROM-COM-LIKE SCENARIO?"  
> so uh here i am  
> this will not be updated a lot, if i even do continue it. if i do keep it up, it'll probably be used as a place to warm-up for when I'm writing [Eyes Half Closed, ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15236424/chapters/35338458) as that is most certainly my top priority. This? This is...something...else. I'm already not a big fan of this but it's 5:15 a.m and I just wasted 5 1/2 hours on it so let's gooooooooooooooo
> 
> (this is the first time i went in head first writing something without planning at all so uh...LOL THIS IS NOT MY BEST WORK BY A LONGSHOT)

“You know, I really don’t condone your life choices,” Teba muttered as he scrolled through his phone, sitting on a stool at the island in Revali’s kitchen.

Revali tossed his head to get a few stray hairs out of his eyes as he stirred the vegetables that were steaming in the skillet. “Well, I don’t care,” he snapped, stirring a bit faster. “You’re not my _dad,_ which you seem to forget all the time.”

Teba shrugged, then continued to lean onto the counter and endlessly scroll through his phone.

Revali glared up at him for a moment, shook his head, and then brought his attention back to the food he was preparing over the stove.

While it was nice having Teba over for company, Revali hated it when he tried to pester and scold him over his decisions; trying to fill a parental role instead of his simple role of being an older cousin.

But then again, it’s not like it wasn’t to be expected. It _had_ been that way since Revali was a teenager.

When Revali’s parents died when he was fifteen, Teba was old enough to take him as his guardian, which he basically _had_ to do, considering that their grandparents were on the other side of the country and Teba’s parents were...themselves.

Ever since, Teba had taken the role of guardian and mentor in Revali’s life very seriously and had gotten so overly protective that even ten years later, with Revali being a grown ass adult with his own apartment, he would barge in on short notice to make sure everything was fine and dandy.

Revali absolutely loved his cousin and appreciated all that he had done for him, no doubt, but he still wished he wasn’t so nosey and judgemental of the way that Revali chose to live his own life.

It was so annoying.

Teba sniffed and started, “Sorry that I don’t like that my little cousin is a gold digger who preys on poor, unsuspecting men.”

Revali jerked and threw his head up, his emerald eyes blazing with rage. “What?! I am _not_ a gold digger!”

The older man held a finger up, as if telling his cousin to hold on for a moment while he tapped around on his phone, then proceeded to read off his screen in a low, monotone voice. “‘A gold digger is a person whose romantic pursuit of, relationship with, or marriage to a wealthy person is primarily or solely motivated by a desire for money.’” He put his finger down before flicking his golden brown eyes up to look at Revali. “Sound familiar? Plus, I think what you do is even worse.”

Silently squinting at him, Revali tightly frowned before going back to his cooking with a snort. “I don’t understand why it offends you so much. It’s not like it affects you.” He rolled his sleeves back up before he reached out for the near-by vinegar bottle and drizzled some onto his vegetable mixture.

Teba scoffed as his eyes fell back down onto his android.

After a few moments of blissful silence, that old fart ruined it by opening his mouth to say something else stupid. “When are you going to find someone to settle down with and start a real life instead of running around, fucking up everyone else’s?” He asked from the side of his mouth. “You’re getting to that age, you know.”

“Well, Teba, maybe I would like to just _focus_ on _me_ for a while!” Revali shrieked, then huffed with frustration when the hairs he had pinned back started to loosen and fall into his face. He shook his head to get them out of his eyes so he could scowl properly at his cousin. “Is that okay with you?!”

Teba furrowed his thick eyebrows and his lips flattened into a look of displeasure. “I think people say that when they mean they’re focusing on their career or becoming a better person. Not when they’re focusing on being an incubus for their own personal gain and enjoyment.”

“Touché,” Revali grumbled as he sprinkled salt and pepper into the skillet. “But still, I don’t need your input.”

“Revali, you’re almost twenty-six. You can’t play these games for the rest of your life. This is so childish.”

Clicking the stove off and switching the skillet onto a cold stove top, Revali crowed, “I _said_ I don’t need your _input!”_ then stomped over to the cupboards to pull out two bowls and open a drawer to get two spoons. “Either way, the succotash is done, asshole.”

Teba put his phone down on the counter and hopped off of the stool to get himself a helping. “It’s been a while since I’ve had your succotash. I’m excited,” he said with a tiny smile, but it fell when he looked around the counter and didn’t see what he was searching for. “Hey, where’s the bacon? Don’t you usually crumble that on top?”

Revali shook his head, tossing around his dark navy hair. “No, not anymore I don’t.” He felt Teba burning holes into him with his eyes, so he peered up at him and squinted to see him with a bitterly confused expression plastered on his face. “I’m a vegetarian now,” he muttered.

Teba’s lips curled into a smirk as his face brightened again. He snickered quietly to himself and shook his head, putting a heaping pile of succotash in his bowl.

“Yeah. Haha. It’s _so_ hilarious. I know.” Revali rolled his eyes then untied his apron to hang it on the hook on the side of the refrigerator, then took out his quick and messy bun to let his long hair down. He flipped his hair with his hands until he was satisfied with the way it fell on his shoulders and then he grabbed the second bowl.

With his mouth already full, Teba blinked and chuckled, “Woah, look at you all dolled up,” admiring the purple choker cocktail dress that his cousin was wearing underneath the apron. “What’s all that for?”

“Thank you,” Revali huffed as he got his own serving of succotash. “I was _planning_ on going the bar soon, but you just had to drop by, and soil all my plans.” He jumped onto the counter next to Teba to eat and then playfully kicked his arm. “Having me make you dinner.”

Teba barely even budged, being built like a rock and all, and then asked, “What were you even going to eat if I didn’t ‘drop by?’ Leaves?”

Revali snorted again and shrugged. “I don’t know. Eat some bar food.”

“Well, that’s healthy.” Teba took another bite of his food and then added, “Does your next _prey_ go to this bar or something?”

“Please don’t call them ‘prey’,” Revali said, scrunching up his face.

“Alright. Does your next _victim_ go to this bar or something?”

“Somehow that’s even worse. I prefer to call them ‘targets’.” He opened his mouth to take another bite but stopped when Teba looked over at him with his eyebrows raised. “Okay, well, in retrospect, I suppose that isn’t much better either. But, regardless, the answer is yes, as a matter of fact.” He inhaled a mouthful of succotash and then bounced the spoon in his fingers as he chewed and talked. “I’m actually kind of looking forward to this one. He’s pretty cute and seems like he’s a sweet, genuine guy to some extent.” Shrugging, he swallowed and said, “It should be pretty simple.”

Teba stared at him with an intense expression that looked like a cross between annoyance and pain; his eyebrows creased together and his eyes narrowed while his mouth crinkled downward.

After holding that terrible expression for God knows how long, he threw his head back and groaned before looking back over at Revali and spitting, “Okay, I’ll bite. Who is this guy?”

Revali gave his cousin a snide grin before reaching behind him to grab his own phone, unlock it, and open his next target’s Instagram. “His name is Link Wilde. He’s from a _very_ high-class military family, so him and his family are pretty much loaded. I think his dad is a marine general.”

As he scrolled down his page, Revali could feel himself smile as he looked through all of this guy’s pictures. And it wasn’t his usual devious smile where he was looking forward to all the money and expensive presents he was going to get from his new rich boyfriend, but it was a real smile.

In all of his pictures, Link was smiling a warm, soft smile that was incredibly contagious; his beautiful, sparkling sapphire eyes crinkled as he showed off his pearly whites.

Not to mention, Revali wasn’t lying when he said that he was cute, but it was certainly an understatement. Link was _gorgeous._ He had shining golden hair pulled back into a short ponytail and, frankly, it looked like his face was crafted by angels.

Plus, even though Revali was pretty sure that Link was shorter than him, judging by his muscles and the way he held himself, this guy could probably pick him up and carry him with ease...and...he couldn’t help but get a little red at that thought.

No, no.

Have to stay focused.

Focus on the task at hand.

“His facebook says that we went to the same high school and graduated the same year, but I can’t say that I recognize him at all. Either way, he’s visiting here for a couple of months before going back to the East Coast, where he got his Master’s in Culinary Arts and a huge job offer.”

Teba looked over at Revali with his eyebrows up again but kept quiet.

Despite him being silent, Revali still noticed him and looked over at him with a glare. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing. Go on.”

Revali kept squinting at his cousin for a moment before looking back at his phone and at that gorgeous blonde moron. “His favorite bar is ‘The Falcon.’ He goes there every couple of nights, including tonight, and I’m ready, so I’m going.”

“That gay bar on the corner of Fincham and Hamill? How the hell do you even know that?”

“He’s one of those weirdos that does check-ins on Facebook. He checks in there every Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday night at around eight thirty. And today is Friday and it is…” Revali glanced to the top of his phone’s screen to see the time. “...About eight. So, I better get going.” He shoveled one last bite of succotash into his mouth and then hopped off the counter to put his empty bowl in the sink.

He heard whispering behind him so he turned around to see Teba with his eyes closed, whispering to himself under his breath. “What are you doing?”

Keeping his eyes closed, Teba responded flatly, “Praying for the poor boy that you’re going to screw over.”

“Oh, shut _up,”_ Revali snapped and walked to Teba to rip the bowl out of his hands to bring it to the sink. “I'll give him the best time of his life and then drop him when the time is right. He'll have a great time while it lasts."

Teba rose a single eyebrow. “‘Drop him?’ Revali, that’s fucking terrible. You do realize that he’s a person, right? You can’t just-”

Revali cut him off. “Oh, _stop._ Don’t you have a wife and kid to get back home to, Teba?”

“Yeah, but I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright. I haven't heard from you in a while and I got worried...And you haven’t exactly made me feel any better."

“Well, I’m doing just fine, see?” Revali said with arms open wide, then stomped over to Teba to push him away from the island and towards the door. “So, you can leave, okay?”

The older man didn’t even bother to struggle or fight and instead walked himself to the door. Once Revali cornered him into the entryway, he opened the door and, before leaving, looked over his shoulder to say in his typical monotone voice, “This is fucked, Revali.”

 _“Goodnight, Teba!”_ Revali shouted and then shoved his cousin out of the door and promptly slammed it.

When he was gone, Revali let out a huge sigh and then turned around to go into the bathroom.

Since he had just eaten, he had to brush his teeth again to make sure he was in perfect condition before going out. He grabbed his electric toothbrush and squirted the tiniest bit of toothpaste onto it, then went to town on his teeth.

Staring himself in the mirror, he realized that the dark circles under his eyes were more visible than he thought, so when he was done with his teeth, he made sure to apply more concealer and also reapply the nude lipstick he had put on right before Teba barged in.

He fiddled with his already perfect hair to make sure it was absolutely perfect as well, and when he was satisfied, he left the bathroom and went to his room to find the stockings that always made his legs look the sexiest and search for his matching high heels.

As soon as he put those on, he began to reach for a coat but stopped himself when he remembered that if he wore it, he would hide his few curves, which he couldn’t afford to hide tonight. He bit his lip, thinking about how cold it had been the last couple of weeks and if it was worth it, but decided against taking it and left it behind.

Checking the time on his phone, he grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder, then started to head towards the door.

Revali took in a deep breath, and upon letting it out, said, “Showtime” with a smile on his face, the sound of his high heels on the hardwood floor giving him a strong feeling of pride and confidence as he left.

**Author's Note:**

> this sucks assssssssssssssssssss and i'm fuggign tiRED


End file.
